Our Next Glorious Leader

So there’s been a lot of talk lately about the 2008 presidential elections. I keep hearing how Giuliani is a fascist liar and how Clinton’s a communist and how Ron Paul is OMG t3h 4wes0m3! and how Obama is black. Well, you people can have your fascist, communist, 4wes0m3 and black (hehe, yeah right) candidates, but I know exactly who I want as my next president. He, I would say, is perhaps the greatest man ever to enter the field of politics. Many presidents have aspired to be just like him, especially our current president. All have failed. He is a man who’s worth know no bounds and whose capability is unparalleled. No, I’m not talking about Eleanor Roosevelt or Ronald Reagan’s zombie. I, good people, am talking about none other, than Dan Quayle. Yes, that’s right. Dan Quayle is the man who I feel should be our next president.

Now I know some of you are thinking “But he’s not even running!” Well that may be true, but if I have my way, the situation may change soon enough. It’s only a matter of time before he begins to respond to my daily emails. I fear however, that my efforts alone may not be enough. Which is why I am asking you to assist me in convincing Dan Quayle, the greatest man who ever lived, to run for president in 2008. SEND HIM EMAILS!! Tell him how much you want him to be our next president. I assure you, if we make him see that he can build a forest, that there are, in fact, more forests than trees, the pollsters will say that he will win.

Dan Quayle is the only man who could possibly lead our country to glory and might. Under his leadership, the United Sates of America will become the greatest nation in the entire solar system. The U.S. will have the smartest, the strongest, and the coolest American people in the entire world! This is practically a no brainer here. Dan Quayle should be president.

So, why exactly do I think Dan Quayle would make such a wonderful president? Let me ask you something: why not? Dan Quayle will be the one responsible for the first manned mission to mars. Not only that, but he will also be responsible for us colonizing Jupiter. I assure you, this will happen with the help of Mr. Quayle’s brilliant mind.

Speaking of minds, Dan Quayle is very big on education. Unlike our current president, who firmly believes that “our childrens do learn,” Mr. Quayle knows the true value of an education. He realizes that to not have a mind, is indeed very wasteful. Under Quayle’s undoubtedly excellent education policy, we will make sure that our children are prepared to take on any potatoe-related challenges the world may throw at them. We can count on Dan Quayle for our children’s futures.
You can be certain, that Mr. Dan Quayle, as president, will be completely and utterly prepared for any event that may or may not happen. Besides, Bush can’t possibly win in 2008. If we elect Dan Quayle to the presidency, the future will, in fact, be better tomorrow.

Also, this.